"I love you. I need you. You complete me", cries the princess in the Hollywood fairytale. "I realise now that I need you too. You are the missing piece of me", replies the handsome prince. They embrace. Screen fades. Credits roll.
But believe me, being needed is not glamorous. Ask razor blades, toothpaste, running water, the roof above your head, or your underpants. A necessity, not deeply desired, is neither a chic nor attractive thing to be.
To be wanted, however - to be a genuine object of desire - is only possible if you are not a necessity. Some desires: a Rolex on the wrist, a Lamborghini in the garage, Michelin starred food on the table, and Eva Longoria (or George Clooney) in the bedroom. We need none of these. As soon as 'need' comes into a relationship then the genuine nature of our desire gets altered.
Need also unbalances romantic relationships. "I need you" is a statement that puts pressure on the other. How can you leave someone who needs you? And why would you want to be with them? Better by far to be with somebody because you want them, because you choose freely, rather than through something you need from them.
In business or at work it is ideal to be both wanted and needed. If you have to choose, then be needed. You can't rely on your company to make employment choices based on emotion.
In friendships and romantic relationships it is a thousand times better to be wanted than to be needed. Don't be a necessity; be an object of desire.
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