How to have a successful life

I’ve seen talented, brilliant women cry on their 30^th birthday because they aren’t yet married.  I’ve seen polyglots and world travellers feel unsuccessful because they’re not on the housing ladder. I know people with creative, unusual portfolio careers who think they are failures because they never got to the top. I’ve watched ambitious high-flyers chided by their parents because of their failure to produce any grand-children.  And I’ve felt the tug of this heartache myself – what’s wrong with me that I don’t have my beautiful home, my perfect family, and my successful career?

Society tells us what is required to be considered a success. When we speak of people who are successful, who have achieved a lot in life, then we use conventional measures: a well-paid job in a respectable field, a comfortable home, a happy marriage, and children.  You tick these boxes? Then congratulations: your life is successful, and you are the envy of others who will say that you “have it all”.

This leaves the rest of us – those who don’t "have it all" – feeling less than fully successful. Our lives may be fantastic, but if we persist in using the standard measures of society to judge ourselves then we will find only dis-satisfaction.  We have been brainwashed.  Career, home, marriage and children are the metrics of the past, and it's insane to keep judging ourselves against somebody else's outdated standards. We must find our own metrics of success. 

I consider myself successful if I write every day, read every day, help somebody every day, and do work that benefits people.  These are my metrics of achievement.  I chose them consciously, and I will change them when necessary.

If you don't have a clear idea of your own metrics for achievement then you will default to using the ones society foists on you.  Think now about what would make your life successful and what you want to achieve.  Now decide on your own measures.  And now: go out and be successful on your own terms.