Do you need to do that?

Just give me a couple of minutes, I need to send a quick email

I’ll be with you in an hour – I have to drop something off at the bank

I’ve got to grab my stuff for tomorrow, then I’ll be there

My real needs are few: breathing, drinking water, and eating sufficient food. Picking up clothes for the next day, sending an email, and running errands are things that I choose to do, rather than things that I need to do.

By dressing desires and choices up as needs, we disempower ourselves. Why does it feel more difficult to say “Just give me a couple of minutes, I’d like to send a quick email”?  It’s harder because with that statement, we take responsibility. By using language such as “need to” and “have to” we absolve ourselves of responsibility. Some outside force is compelling us to do something, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Drop it. Tell people what you’re going to do or what you want to do, not what you supposedly ‘need’ to do. “I’m going to the bank, then I’ll join you as soon as I’ve finished.”

If we want to be open and reclaim our individual power then it’s time to stop saying that we “have to” do something.  We don’t.  We have a choice.  And we’re doing it because we choose to.  So be honest about it.