"Wow, great haircut" is a compliment. But not to the person whose hair it is. You're complimenting their hairdresser.
"Awesome car", might be praise to the design team at Ferrari or Lamborghini, but is no compliment at all the intended recipient.
"Those are cool jeans", might reflect my taste or the fact that Diesel are having a stylish season. But again, it isn't a compliment.
Paying a compliment has been confused with telling somebody you like something they own or wear or can do. These are worth commenting on, but for praise to have power you have to find something personal. Even better if it's something they've worked on, and you can tell them why you like it.
e.g.
Well done on completing that work so quickly. It was a great essay, and I know you didn't have much time to do it.
I really admire your patience in keeping so calm with difficult customers.
Thank you so much for your help today. I realise that you went out of your way, and I really appreciate it.
I love the way you take unusual accessories and make a cool outfit. You have a great sense of style.
The way you write is really clear and touching. It inspires me.
Some of us - perhaps many - live and work in compliment-deficient environments. Go out there and give a genuine compliment. A moment of honest praise can change somebody's entire day.
"Awesome car", might be praise to the design team at Ferrari or Lamborghini, but is no compliment at all the intended recipient.
"Those are cool jeans", might reflect my taste or the fact that Diesel are having a stylish season. But again, it isn't a compliment.
Paying a compliment has been confused with telling somebody you like something they own or wear or can do. These are worth commenting on, but for praise to have power you have to find something personal. Even better if it's something they've worked on, and you can tell them why you like it.
e.g.
Well done on completing that work so quickly. It was a great essay, and I know you didn't have much time to do it.
I really admire your patience in keeping so calm with difficult customers.
Thank you so much for your help today. I realise that you went out of your way, and I really appreciate it.
I love the way you take unusual accessories and make a cool outfit. You have a great sense of style.
The way you write is really clear and touching. It inspires me.
Some of us - perhaps many - live and work in compliment-deficient environments. Go out there and give a genuine compliment. A moment of honest praise can change somebody's entire day.
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