Once upon a time I thought that a friend would be a friend for life. I thought that no love affair could end so bitterly that no vestige of affection would remain. I thought that a blood relative would forever have some place in my heart. I thought that 'clutter' meant only the physical. And I thought that getting older meant getting more: more friends, more relationships, more relatives, and more things.
Only now am I beginning to see that life is better with some of the fat trimmed off it. It hurts me when a friendship has run its course, but it hurts me more to try and maintain some pallid version of it. I feel sad when a relationship has no future, but sadder still when I strain to keep it alive with a pretence of passion.
There are those who can cut a person out of their lives with barely a thought. I'm not one of them. In fact I've rarely decided to sever contact with someone. Nonetheless some people are bad medicine for me: they bring to my life more negative than positive, more pain than pleasure, more conflict than kindness. The best thing I can do - with compassion for both of us - is to cut these few out of my life.
Sometimes it will also be the best thing for you to do. Just remember to sever ties with compassion instead of anger. Your aim is the opposite of hate. And the opposite of hate isn't love; the opposite of hate is indifference.
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