Why do you want children?

There is no such thing as selflessness. Altruism doesn’t exist.  We are at the mercy of our desire to survive and reproduce.  Our every action is filtered through a single question: will this help my genes to flourish?  Good deeds, even those seemingly unselfish, are done with a subconscious hope of future reward.

The population of the planet is now over 7 billion.  It is thought that the optimal population is less than half of that. Worldwide there are over 100 million children who are orphaned, and in the UK alone there are 100 000 children in local authority care. 

Having children is purely selfish. There are many things we can do to benefit the world, but producing more humans is not one of them.  We don’t need more children.  The desire for family and offspring is a biological urge which has been dressed up by society into ideals: the happy marriage with children cementing the couple’s love for each other, or the purity of a mother’s love which overrides all reason.

At its most naive we see this selfish desire for children in those who are themselves bereft of love: the girl who gets pregnant because she wants “someone who will love me unconditionally”, or the unhappy couple who think that their relationship will be saved by having a child.

Adoption is less appealing. Your own genetic offspring are the first choice. Whether you conjure up reasons, or put it down to a gut feeling that “I’d just like to have my own children”, the cause is biological.  Your genes want to spread, and so you desire children.  It’s selfishness.

Selfishness is not evil. It’s biological, just the way we are designed. Rarely does it have a malign intention.  But it’s useful to be brutally honest sometimes, so let’s be clear about our motivation.

Declaration of interest: I’d like to have children of my own.